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Negotiate to Win: Essentials for Leaders

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In his book, *Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection* (Random House, 2015), Jia Jiang recounts how he overcame his fear of rejection through a series of humorous and often unexpected social experiments and interactions. 

“100 Days of Rejection” experiment

Curhan, Jared & Overbeck, Jennifer & Cho, Yeri & Zhang, Teng & Yang, Yu. (2021). Silence is Golden: Extended Silence, Deliberative Mindset, and Value Creation in Negotiation. Journal of Applied Psychology. 107. 78-94.

3–3.5 seconds

This article provides useful insights on factors behind negotiation avoidance and ways to address it.

David A. Hunsaker, Hong Zhang, and Alice J. Lee, “Beyond Propensity: Thresholds, Costs, and Interventions in Negotiation Avoidance,” *Negotiation and Conflict Management Research* 18, no. 4 (2025): 37–56.

![](https://www.masterclass.com/course-images/attachments/2mxbifu45wptphwwwig0b808i780)

Alexandra Carter has led Columbia Law School’s Mediation Clinic since 2008, training students in negotiation and alternative dispute resolution across a wide range of cases. She also partnered with the United Nations to have her students provide mediation training to its New York diplomatic corps and now works with New York courts that are shifting toward mediation-based systems.

An award-winning instructor, Alex received Columbia University’s Presidential Award for Teaching in 2019. A former Goldman Sachs analyst and Fulbright Scholar, she later clerked in federal court and worked as a litigator at Cravath, Swaine & Moore before returning to academia. 

Alex’s fresh take on negotiation is the subject of her book, *Ask for More: 10 Questions to Negotiate Anything*, which was published by Simon & Schuster in May 2020 and became an instant *Wall Street Journal* Business bestseller—the first negotiation book solo-authored by a woman to make that list.

Alexandra Carter

According to research, there is a right amount of time to pause. For more on this “three-second rule” see Jared R. Curhan, Jennifer R. Overbeck, Yeri Cho, Teng Zhang, and Yu Yang, “Silence Is Golden: Extended Silence, Deliberative Mindset, and Value Creation in Negotiation,” *Journal of Applied Psychology* 107 (2021): 78–94.

around three seconds

In her book, *Mindset: The New Psychology of Success* (Random House, 2006), Carol S. Dweck contrasts two ways of thinking about intelligence: a fixed mindset that sees ability as something you’re born with, and a growth mindset that sees it as something you can develop through learning and experience.

Carol Dweck’s work

![](https://www.masterclass.com/course-images/attachments/fse9n4h3sgwri02zi7y0ymcmonyr)

Craig Silliman is former general counsel at Verizon and former president of Verizon Global Services, where he led global teams across 20-plus countries and advised boards and CEOs. He brings deep expertise in strategy, law, public policy, technology, mergers and acquisitions, and crisis management.

A collaborative leader known for building high-performing teams, Craig built and led a large shared services unit spanning IT, data, supply chain, finance, HR, legal, and more. As chief legal officer, he secured major regulatory approvals and led key acquisitions.

Craig Silliman

* Employee vs. employer: A job candidate is negotiating salary with a company that has many other applicants.  
* Small supplier vs. large buyer: The buyer has volume and switching power, while the supplier may depend on the contract.  
* Junior staff vs. senior executive: Hierarchy can make it hard to challenge timelines, scope, or resources.  
* Community group vs. large organization: One side may have more money, legal support, or access to decision-makers, creating an imbalance in information and influence.  
* Cross-cultural or cross-language negotiations: One party may have an advantage simply because the meeting language, norms, or venue favors them.

differences in power

**Raise, promotion, or title:** I’m negotiating with my boss about a raise and title change. I work in ________ (industry/work type/career) as a ________(role/position). I’ve been at the same level for a few years, but my responsibilities have grown and I’d like to move into more of a lead role.

**Salary and benefits offer:** I’m negotiating with a prospective employer about a salary and benefits package. It’s for the role of \_\_\_\_\_ (job title/role) in \_\_\_\_ (industry/work type/career). While I don’t have the exact same experience, I know my skills from past roles are transferable and I believe I would be a perfect fit for this position.

**Project, contractor, or freelance rates and terms:** I’m negotiating with a potential client about a freelance project where I would be doing \_\_\_\_ (type of service provided) for a period of \_\_\_\_\_ (duration of time).

examples of what a scenario might look like

This concept is attributed to Alex’s mentor, Carol B. Liebman, clinical professor emerita of law, and founder of Columbia’s Mediation Clinic. As Alex explains in her book, *Ask for More: 10 Questions to Negotiate Anything*, “[Carol] did not mean to say that feelings are as objective a reality as time, weight, or temperature, but rather that they are real, they exist, and they must be dealt with in any negotiation.”

feelings are the “facts” 

Created by Dr. Gloria Willcox in 1982, the Feeling Wheel helps people identify and talk about emotions with more precision. It starts with core feelings at the center, then expands outward into more nuanced emotions. Though many versions now exist, they all follow the same idea: moving from broad emotional states to specific feelings to build emotional awareness and expression.

Feeling Wheel

Lammers, Joris & Dubois, David & Rucker, Derek & Galinsky, Adam. (2013). Power gets the job: Priming power improves interview outcomes. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. 

Galinsky, et al, 2013

Examples of Power Imbalance

• Employee vs. employer: a job candidate negotiating salary with a company that has many other applicants.

• Small supplier vs. large buyer: the buyer has volume and switching power, while the supplier may depend on the contract.

• Junior staff vs. senior executive: hierarchy can make it hard to challenge timelines, scope, or resources.

• Community group vs. large organization: one side may have more money, legal support, or access to decision-makers, creating an imbalance in information and influence.

• Cross-cultural or cross-language negotiations: one party may have an advantage simply because the meeting language, norms, or venue favors them.

Click here for some typical examples of power imbalance

**In the course, journaling helps you**

* Reinforce learning by revisiting and consolidating key concepts.  
* Build self-awareness by identifying habits, assumptions, and patterns.  
* Make feedback more actionable by comparing intentions with actual outcomes.  
* Track progress over time, strengthening confidence and motivation.  
* Turn each exercise into a continuous learning loop rather than a one-time activity.

**In actual negotiations, journaling helps you**

* Prepare more effectively by clarifying goals, priorities, and potential trade-offs.  
* Improve judgment in the moment by recognizing patterns in what works and what doesn’t.  
* Maintain emotional control by identifying triggers and reducing reactive decisions.  
* Conduct more effective post-negotiation reviews, turning each experience into future advantage.  
* Stay intentional and adaptive, rather than repeating the same habits unconsciously.

journaling

Negative emotions really do change our brains and impact our ability to negotiate. The articles below go into more detail about how this happens and how to manage it. 

1. Alison Wood Brooks and Maurice E. Schweitzer, “Can Nervous Nelly Negotiate? How Anxiety Causes Negotiators to Make Low First Offers, Exit Early, and Earn Less Profit,” *Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes* 115, no. 1 (2011): 43–54.  
2. Daniel L. Shapiro, “Emotions: Emotions in Negotiation: Peril or Promise?” *Marquette Law Review* 87, no. 4 (2004).  
3. Markus Wagner and Davide Morisi, “Anxiety, Fear, and Political Decision Making,” *Oxford Research Encyclopedia of Politics*, ed. Erin Hannah, November 22, 2019\.

Negative emotions

A negotiation map is a simple but powerful negotiation planning tool that helps you see both sides clearly before the conversation begins. By mapping your interests, the other side’s interests, and the possible overlap or trade-offs between them, you can prepare smarter options, anticipate obstacles, and move toward agreements that are both practical and durable.

It turns negotiation from guesswork into structured problem-solving. Instead of reacting in the moment, you can enter the discussion with a clearer strategy, stronger questions, and a better sense of where value might be created.

negotiation map

For a good summary of some of this research, see the article “Power in Negotiation: The Impact on Negotiators and the Negotiation Process,” Harvard Law School Program on Negotiation *Daily Blog*, June 17, 2026\.

Negotiation research

Northern California consumers value craftsmanship and sustainably sourced products, and they’re often willing to pay a premium for quality. The region’s strong food culture and higher disposable incomes make it an attractive market for artisanal brands.

Northern California market 

For more on how positive emotions can strengthen our negotiation skills, see the following two articles. 

1. Daniel L. Shapiro, “Emotions: Emotions in Negotiation: Peril or Promise?” *Marquette Law Review* 87, no. 4 (2004).  
2. Katie Shonk, “Emotional Intelligence in Negotiation,” Harvard Law School Program on Negotiation *Daily Blog*, March 25, 2026\.

positive emotions

The concept of “power priming” in negotiation emerged from experimental social psychology and behavioral economics and was popularized in the mid-2000s by researchers Adam Galinsky, Joe Magee, and their colleagues. In their landmark 2007 study, they demonstrated that negotiators who were “power primed” were four times more likely to make the first move and establish a strong position.

Magee, Joe C. et al. “Power, Propensity to Negotiate, and Moving First in Competitive Interactions,” *Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin* vol. 33,2 (2007): 200-12.

power priming

![](https://www.masterclass.com/course-images/attachments/ci1exylkqx86npp1aon33y9y7xvc)

From our back catalog, Rich Paul shares stories and powerful insights from his experience negotiating multimillion-dollar contracts as a leading sports agent. The founder of Klutch Sports Group, he’s known for revolutionizing athlete representation with a player-first approach. As the longtime agent of LeBron James, he grew Klutch into a powerhouse that represents some of the biggest talent in the NBA, NFL, and WNBA.

Rich became famous for one of his first major deals, helping a star client secure a contract worth more than three times the original offer. Drawing on lessons from negotiating more than $5 billion in deals, he’ll show you how to recognize and leverage your value in any negotiation. Through stories from some of the highest-stakes negotiations in sports, you’ll learn practical tactics for creating win-win outcomes, building leverage, exercising patience, and knowing when saying no is your strongest move.

To learn more from Rich, watch his class on MasterClass, The Dealmaker’s Mindset.

Rich Paul

Practice does make perfect. Research shows that tactics like roleplaying build confidence and rewire your brain. Here are two good articles to delve deeper. 

1. Albert Bandura, “Self-Efficacy: Toward a Unifying Theory of Behavioral Change,” *Psychological Review* 84, no. 2 (1977): 191–215.  
2. Kirsten Weir, “Self-Efficacy: The Theory at the Heart of Human Agency,” American Psychological Association, October 22, 2025\.

self-efficacy

**Work/career**  
Raise, promotion, or title  
Salary and benefits offer  
Project, contractor, or freelance rates and terms  
High-stakes negotiations  
Mergers/acquisitions  
Legal settlements  
Contracts

**Start-ups**  
Adviser equity  
Seed fundraising  
Titles, roles, ownership

**Family/relationships/household**   
Vacation plans  
Where to live  
Parenting responsibilities  
Purchasing a car

Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)

A win-win negotiation approach is a strategy focused on creating value for all parties involved rather than treating negotiation as a contest with winners and losers. The goal is to find solutions that satisfy the most important interests of everyone at the table, leading to outcomes that are both effective and sustainable.

win-win approach

Negotiation isn’t just for boardrooms or high-stakes deals; it’s a skill you use every day. In this module, you’ll start to see negotiation differently, replacing outdated assumptions with an empowering win-win approach.

Lesson 1: Welcome to MasterClass’s Negotiate to Win: Essentials for Leaders

A certificate course on transformative negotiation

Welcome to MasterClass’s Negotiate to Win: Essentials for Leaders

Lesson 2: How to Get the Most From This Course

Bonus lesson: Tips to make time for learning

How to Get the Most From This Course

Lesson 3: Chart Your Negotiation: The New Power Dynamic

Chart Your Negotiation: The New Power Dynamic

Lesson 4: Your Momentum Catalyst: Chart Each Step

Your Momentum Catalyst: Chart Each Step

Lesson 5: Seeing Negotiation Differently

Key frameworks and concepts you’ll use throughout the course

Seeing Negotiation Differently

Lesson 6: Your Negotiation Style, Part 1

Bonus lesson: Negotiation tendencies

Your Negotiation Style, Part 1

Lesson 7: Your Negotiation Style, Part 2

Bonus lesson: Conflict and cooperation mode

Your Negotiation Style, Part 2

Lesson 8: Build the Relationship First: Why the Contract Isn’t the Deal

Case study

Build the Relationship First: Why the Contract Isn’t the Deal

Lesson 9: Let’s Go! You Can Do This!

You’ve completed Module 1

Let’s Go! You Can Do This!

Rethinking Negotiation: From Myth to Mastery

Before you can reach agreement, you need to understand what’s really at stake. Cut through noise and conflicting positions to define the true problem; getting this right is often the difference between stalled conversations and meaningful progress.

What Are You Really Negotiating?

Negotiate to Win: Essentials for Leaders

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