Chapter 14 of 35 from Aaron Sorkin

Group Workshop: Chronic by Roland Zaleski

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Discussing Roland's script, Aaron reveals a simple trick that writers can use to justify improbable events in their stories.

Topics include: Table read • Script feedback

Discussing Roland's script, Aaron reveals a simple trick that writers can use to justify improbable events in their stories.

Topics include: Table read • Script feedback

Aaron Sorkin

Aaron Sorkin Teaches Screenwriting

Aaron Sorkin teaches you the craft of film and television screenwriting in 35 exclusive video lessons.

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Your script starts here.

Aaron Sorkin wrote his first movie on cocktail napkins. Those napkins turned into A Few Good Men, starring Jack Nicholson. Now, the Academy Award winning writer of The West Wing and The Social Network is teaching screenwriting. You’ll learn his rules of storytelling, dialogue, character development, and what makes a script actually sell. By the end, you'll write unforgettable screenplays.

Watch, listen, and learn as Aaron teaches the essentials of writing for television and film.

A downloadable workbook accompanies the class with lesson recaps and supplemental materials.

Upload videos to get feedback from the class. Aaron will also critique select student work.

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Great class with Mr. Sorkin. I appreciated the analysis of his work most of all. The writing room was an excellent learning experience too.

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Aaron is such a genius with his craft and the way he taught this class was amazing. He carefully went through each step of screenwriting and dove into character development as if it were the ultimate rule. I really enjoy him as an instructor. I wish the class can had more add ons.

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Comments

Jay K.

My suggestion to Roland would be, have Alex's mission to capture the arms dealer occur prior to the bomb situation. Roland could set up Lily's day prior to her arrival at work for the audience ( giving her character substance) and in the meanwhile Alex is completing his initial mission. As Alex relishes in praise from his peers for successfully detaining the suspect, he would then receive the call to handle the airplane bomb to avoid possible improbability

Judith M.

I liked Rolands idea, it had great potential as an opening, even adding some standard humour into the mix. Not a 100% sure but I believe that the mile high club is in the top 2 reasons, but masturbation did get a laugh. Good initial crew banter. For me there were two issues. 1) Time. It felt like too much time was spent talking, and the bomb would have exploded before she was told what to do. Possible solution: Alex and his shadowing of the seller, is actually ON the plane. As a trained operative he recognizes the distress code used by the steward and intervenes. The plane is turning and hits turbulence, and the box has been glued so only the stewardesses small hands can reach inside, with Alex whispering in her ear. They need a way to extract or stop the chip. They have to resort to asking the passengers for help causing a mild panic to spread as they search for finger clippers or a ceramic nail file. Emergency landing just as the chip is made inactive. Passengers rush out of the emergency exits allowing the seller to escape (assuming that is actually relevant to the story). 2) Electronics. First electrical and electronic detonators are different. If it was actually ticking as stated, it is most likely a mechanical detonator. The most common small explosives detonator in use outside of the military is a mobile phone. (If you did use the mobile phone option remember to add a scene in the cockpit where the computer acts a bit wiggy - don't give away that that is or could be the transmission interference). You need to either unseat the chip by leverage or cut the power pin on your envisioned device. Being honest here, it is most likely best to keep to the old but theatrically accepted CUT THE BLUE WIRE gag, and just make it difficult to do so. Pacemakers. People with pacemakers do not step through X-Ray devices. Pacemakers do not react well to any form of electrical shock, which may actually make them cease to function. They regulate the heart rate, so manipulation of the rate via red bull is problematic. You could however suggest to the audience that your experimental version could be updated externally with the correct equipment, or is being controlled maliciously by the villain. Also check with the Agency that Alex works for to see if they accept agents with pacemaker related heart conditions, and if they generally do not, invent a reason that he can that might add something to the story. Loved the idea, and would like to know how it turned out.

Roy T.

Acceptable reality was a valuable tip. I love and appreciate Aaron's gentle way of critiquing.

A fellow student

Gary Thomas, WA We are hearing Roland Zalleski;s script: Chronic. It is an air liner story. The flight attendant gains access to the men's john. A man is dead, probably suicide. Also, there is a bomb in the midst of the trash. Upon closer look she sees that it has two and a half minutes until detonation. When she is put in touch with a man who is familiar with disarming bombs. The expert finds himself with the job of following a suspect and giving directions for disarming a bomb. Aaron gives critique. Also. we are given Aristotle's Poetics to read and treat evangelically.

Greg S.

I question the advisability of sending a writer out to research how to successfully smuggle a bomb onto a plane. That could be asking for some unwelcome company.

A fellow student

I think the most difficult thing in a script is to create the verisimilitude, that is to say what Sorking talks about, it is the most difficult thing to write, that is the difference between being creative and being a dramatist, that's why there are movies that I love because they are incredible, but they have a credible world, I mean plausible, a great example is Tim Burton's Big Fish, of course, it is fantastic cinema, but in the end it is also a realistic story, it is a great example for those who wonder what is plausible and not

Dennis F.

One thing not mentioned. Why would this bomb (like so many others) require a screen with a countdown clock on it telling us exactly where the characters are in the ever-increasing build-up toward an explosion. The thing is designed to blow up. Who cares about a clock? There is no reason for a clock other than to build tension. I hate these countdown clocks on bombs in movies. They are movie cliches. I'd love to see a situation like this without a convenient clock. Perhaps, Alex can tell her about the chip and once she pulled the chip there would be a way to know how close it is to detonation. I think I'd jump out of my seat in a movie theater if I saw that. FINALLY!

Lisa

I needed that E.T. and TV news examples. Probable Impossibility and possible improbability. I get it. It's so important to know. Thanks Mr. Sorkin.

Raffi S.

Excellent input about what codes/jargon a flight attendant would normally use to describe what is discovered in the bathroom...details...the appearance of reality.

Jake H.

I really liked the probable impossibility part. Very interesting point. I also really thought the script flowed well and had a rapid fire pace I could see in my head. One of the things I liked was that when he jumped from scene to scene the first line of stage direction would describe things as the camera would find them., for example "A hand opening a wallet" instead of "a hand opens a wallet". cool little technical thing that i think brought me more into the fast pace of the story.

Transcript

The next one is Chronic. Roland Zaleski, you're up. It's a feature script. The full script log line is, "A former explosives expert is kidnapped and wakes up to learn that every time his heart beats 1000 times, a bomb will detonate somewhere in the city of Los Angeles." That's pretty cool. Sample scene description. Flight attendant attempts to disarm a smuggled explosive on a passenger flight with the instructions of Alex Quinn, former bomb expert, who is in the middle of his own mission to track an arms dealer. OK. Interior. Airplane, day. A 747 passenger aircraft, 20 minutes into the air. Sunshine pouring through the windows. Insert Friday at 10:35 AM. Down the aisle-- mothers, fathers, businessmen, tourists, children, brooding teenagers. At the end of the plane-- storage areas, attendant seating, and bathrooms. Lily Thompson-- late 20s, a flight attendant-- knocking on one of the bathroom doors, her patience quickly wearing down. Sir, the pilot has turned on the seat belt sign. I need you to return to your seat, sir. A male attendant breezes past really holding a bag of trash. He stops, recognizing her frustration. Half the time it's a medical issue. And the other half? Masturbation. Oh, sorry. Masturbation He's been in there since take off. You just got excited, that's all. Please be medical. Come on, man, wrap it up. Hello? No response. The attendant removes a key chain from his pocket, singling out a plastic hook device. He wiggles it inside the handle, unlocking the door. James Bond in occupied bathroom. A smirk from the attendant as the door clicks unlocked. Lily pushes it open. Sir? Reveal inside the bathroom-- a middle-aged man crumbled on the floor, his wrists bleeding. Pool of blood all around. Pale skin, dead. Lily screams. Holy shit! The attendant rushes in, checking the man for signs of life. Nothing. He rushes back out, panicked. Close the door. I'll see if I can find a doctor. Lily, stunned, nods. She enters the bathroom, door closed. The hum of the turbines in the BG and a beeping thing. Lily looks around confused. Lily kneels, removing the small trash container from under the sink. The beeping's louder now, coming from inside the trash. Lily roots through the garbage, finding an electronic box, wired plastic molding attached to the back, a countdown on the tiny view screen in the corner-- 4:02, 4:01, 4:00, 3:59. Lily's face turns white as the turbines noise intensifies, merging with the mechanized screeching of-- Interior. Los Angeles subway, day. A subway charging down a passenger platform. Focus on the back of a man waiting for the train. He's off to the next station. Insert 10:37 AM. The man's right arm moves covertly for his ear, listening to the instructions through an earpiece. The man move...