Business, Community & Government, Wellness

Avoiding Miscommunication

Esther Perel

Lesson time 18:30 min

Miscommunication happens. Esther teaches how to use your communication skills to pave the way forward and how to avoid miscommunication in the future.

Students give MasterClass an average rating of 4.7 out of 5 stars

Topics include: Whose Fault Is It? • Lean on Self-Awareness and Empathy • Amend Your Miscommunications • Consider Context • How Many Times Do I Have to Say…? • Pick Up the Phone


[MUSIC PLAYING] - At the root of miscommunication is people. I'm going to talk to you, and I'm going to send you a message. And by the time my message has arrived to you, it has traveled through the land of expectations, the land of assumptions, the land of interpretations, the land of misunderstandings about the meaning of words, and the land of our respective filters with which we experience the message that has just been sent. And at that moment, you're going to receive and send a message back to me. And that whole trip of this message coming back to me, by the time it reaches me, God knows what kinds of distortions have occurred with it. It's a fascinating thing to watch miscommunication-- you know, the difference between intention, delivery, reception, interpretation, and response. All of those, every one of those steps, could be affected in the process of miscommunication. [MUSIC PLAYING] There's a question that always comes back around miscommunication. It's, who's responsible, the speaker or the receiver? And it's both ends. If you know that you have someone who's highly sensitive to criticism, you're going to speak differently than if you talk to someone who you know tends to take the message at face value, doesn't instantly personalize it, doesn't think that you're making a total condemnation of their entire work. You're not saying the whole thing you did was wrong and you are worthless and how can you be so dumb. But this is what people do with communication. They take sentences, and they give them meanings that you cannot predict. And that becomes the source of the miscommunication. Sometimes you have meanings that you are not aware of that are implied in what you're saying that you think you're not saying, but they are there. And those we call biases and those we sometimes call unconscious biases. So sometimes the miscommunication is on the part of the person who delivers, and sometimes the miscommunication is on the side of the person who hears. [MUSIC PLAYING] I'd like to play another clip from the podcast, "Housework." And this pair has two men who are both business partners in their macaroon bakery as well as partners in life. One is Dutch. One is Brazilian. What isn't working for them is that they've put themselves into tiny boxes-- the creative and the pragmatic. And they can't communicate past these truncated identities. They're increasingly frustrated with how the other reacts in any given situation. And they're at a loss for how to communicate and problem solve together. BUSINESS MANAGER: You know, there's a lot of love from me for him. And I have a lot of respect for him as a business owner and as my partner. But there's some situations that I find really difficult to deal with whenever it comes to problem solving in the company or make a separation in the relationship and the company. He's really smart. He knows which direction he wants to go to. But he's also a ...

About the Instructor

Known for her innovative approach to love and relationships, Esther Perel is sharing her methods for building deeper connections with every person in your life. Whether it’s with your partner or project manager, you’ll learn how rethinking the basic principles of intimacy, communication, and trust can improve the quality of your life in the bedroom, boardroom, and beyond.

Featured Masterclass Instructor

Esther Perel

Renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel teaches you the power—and the art—of connecting with others.

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