Buoyancy: Develop a Resilient Mindset
Lesson time 09:49 min
Learn how to remain afloat in a sea of rejection as Daniel shares some of his favorite tips for staying positive.
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Topics include: The Keys to a Successful Pep Talk · Bouncing Back From Rejection With Explanatory Style
[00:00:00.86] INSTRUCTOR: Now we're going to talk about what kind of mindset you should cultivate to be the most effective persuader. So I came up with this concept of buoyancy after spending some time with a fellow named Norman Hall. Now, Norman's an amazing guy. He spent 40 years selling brushes door-to-door in the business district of San Francisco. [00:00:23.18] I spent a lot of time following him around. And one day he got frustrated with me. He said, Dan, you don't understand how hard my job is, he said, every day I face an ocean of rejection, not a pond of rejection, an ocean of rejection. And that's what it's like when we're persuaders. People are going to say no many more times than they're going to say yes. And we have to learn to deal with that. [00:00:50.55] And here's the thing. Human beings hate rejection. I hate rejection. I'm used to it. I still hate it. You probably hate rejection. But in some ways, hating rejection is like hating the weather. You can't really do anything about it but you have to equip yourself to deal with it. And it's going to make you better in your job as a persuader if you're able to be more buoyant. [00:01:11.92] But I think there's a larger and second point, too, which is that your life is going to be full of ups but it's also going to be full of downs. You're going to get rejected in your personal life. You're going to have disappointments. You're going to have failures. You're going to have regrets. Buoyancy allows us not to let that sink us. It allows us to stay afloat. [00:01:36.25] And if we're able to be resilient, if we're able to be buoyant in the face of all of this negativity, we're going to make it to the next day. We're going to make it to the day after that. We're going to survive and we're going to thrive. [00:01:49.40] [MUSIC PLAYING] [00:01:55.23] For several decades, social scientists have been studying something called self talk. That is the human capacity to talk to ourselves. I talk to myself. I know you talk to yourself. It's cool. Everybody does it. But how we do it can make a world of difference. Let me give you an example. Suppose that I'm in a persuasive encounter. Let's say I'm going to go pitch a new book. And I'm going to go to a big meeting where I'm going to try to sell them on this brilliant idea I have for a book. [00:02:24.33] Now, the traditional form of self talk that we're taught in pop culture, in certain sales training, by our athletic coaches, and whatnot, is positive, affirmative self talk. I say to myself, you can do it, you got this, right? There's a better way to do this. And that's something called interrogative self talk. Instead of affirming yourself and saying you can do this, turn it into a question and ask yourself can you do this, and if so, how? [00:02:57.69] Now, this makes the self-help gurus go nuts. How dare you question yourself? How dare you introduce doubt in here? But what the science tells us is that they're totally wrong, that interrogati...
About the Instructor
With four NYT bestsellers, Daniel Pink is an influential voice in the evolving landscape of sales and motivation. Now the author of To Sell Is Human teaches you science-backed principles for effective and ethical sales and persuasion. Learn tactics for achieving better outcomes in any interaction—at home or at work—and tools for framing your message, navigating cognitive biases, and pitching ideas, products, or yourself.
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NYT-bestselling author Daniel Pink shares a science-based approach to the art of persuading, selling, and motivating yourself and others.Explore the Class