How to Get Your Life Together: Steps to Take Control of Your Life

“Having your life together” is a common phrase that people often use to describe those whose lives are going well. However, having your life together is less about reaching certain markers of success (like a particular income or relationship status) and more about the feeling of being in control and on track toward your goals. When you have your life together, you feel as if you are:

• Physically secure: One of the building blocks of having your life together is feeling that you are physically safe and secure—you are comfortable with your physical health and your living situation, and you have spaces in your life that are private, comfortable, and relaxing. You also feel that you have the means to provide for your lifestyle.
• Mentally in control: When you’re in control of your mental health, you don’t feel overwhelmed by the number of things on your plate. Instead, you feel as if you have the time and energy to dedicate to each of the things in your life, and that all of these things are helping you work toward your life goals.
• Emotionally stable: Feeling emotionally stable is a crucial part of having your life together—when you’re emotionally stable, you feel as if you can adequately handle all of the stressors in your life, and you feel confident that if a new difficulty were to arise, you would be able to manage it.

Everyone interprets life togetherness differently, and there’s no set template for how to get your life together and give yourself a sense of control. However, here are a few steps you can take to evaluate your current life state and get yourself unstuck:

1. 1. Take stock of your life. The first step to taking back control of your life is taking a detailed, honest look at your life as it is now. Write down a list of everything going on for you, in all the areas of your life—your job, your friends, your romantic relationships, your family members, your hobbies, your classes, your volunteer work, etc. If you’re having a hard time thinking about it, try grouping the information into meaningful chunks, category by category.
2. 2. Write down your goals. Think about what you hope to achieve in your life. You may find it helpful to group your wants into long-term and short-term goals. These are the things you want to ultimately achieve, plus the smaller things you want to happen in the next month, next year, or next couple of years. Be specific and ambitious—decide exactly what the life you want looks like.
3. 3. Evaluate what’s necessary. Once you’ve written down how your life currently is and how you’d like it to be, it’s time to compare the two lists. Take note of what in your life is directly working toward your goals and what isn’t. Maybe you spend a lot of time doing something you really wish you weren’t. Maybe there are parts of your life you wish you were spending time and energy on that you’re just not. Maybe there is something specific that is hindering your decision-making power. Pay attention to which short-term or long-term goals you’re not currently working toward to identify what might be missing in your life trajectory.
4. 4. Adjust your path accordingly. After you compare your current life path and your ideal one, write down a plan for how to make a few changes to course-correct: both ways to declutter and ways to add new, positive things. This change could take any number of shapes—for example, enrolling in a class, deciding to let go of the toxic people in your life, choosing to set boundaries in a relationship, establishing a healthier work-life balance, using a tactic to wake up earlier, or looking for a new apartment. They can be big changes, but don’t underestimate the power of small steps toward well-being. When planning these changes, consider areas of both professional and personal development and don’t forget to plan restorative activities or hobbies, too, to serve as self-care.
5. 5. Commit to positive energy. Even with a perfect life plan in hand, there are a few ways you might self-sabotage to prevent yourself from improving your life. These can come in many forms, especially negative thoughts, self-doubt, and procrastination. Commit to recognizing these bad habits when they appear and working to replace them with the positive, forward-facing energy you need to get things done; for example, replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations, and procrastination with tangible goals and small daily actions to achieve them.
6. 6. Refresh regularly. Taking control of your life isn’t a one-time thing—in fact, it’s completely normal for you to slowly lose track of your goals as you get established in a new daily grind. To counteract this rut, schedule specific times for you to check in with yourself and reevaluate your path. That way, you can make small changes regularly to truly take charge of your life and stay on the path of self-improvement.
7. 7. Consider professional help. It can be hard work to effect true personal growth. If you find yourself struggling to make positive changes toward a better life, remember you don’t have to do it alone. Consider reaching out to a professional—whether that’s a general practitioner, a mental health specialist, a self-help or life coach, or a trusted mentor or loved one—and ask for advice and support as you work to take control of your future and live a meaningful life.

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