4 Tips for Better Mutual Masturbation

Mutual masturbation is a sexual activity that involves self-stimulating using your hands or sex toys, along with one or more partners.

If you’ve never tried mutual masturbation, there are a few reasons to incorporate it into your sex life.

1. 1. To increase intimacy: Masturbating in front of someone else may feel extremely vulnerable, so it can serve as a way to build trust and intimacy into your sex life.
   
2. 2. To learn about your partner: It can be hard to describe exactly what kinds of sensations, pressure, and rhythm lead to pleasure for you. Showing your partner how you masturbate is the perfect way to teach them how you like to be stimulated.
3. 3. To break the taboo: There can be shame and secrecy surrounding masturbation. Sharing masturbation with a partner you trust can help you feel more comfortable with both your partner and yourself.
4. 4. To practice safer sex: Sexually transmitted infections can spread via bodily fluids (such as semen and vaginal fluids) during oral sex, anal penetration, or vaginal penetration. With mutual masturbation, there’s virtually no risk of passing STIs to your partner.

If you’re new to mutual masturbation, considering the following tips and techniques.

1. 1. Set the scene. Light some candles, play some soft music, and make sure you have plenty of lube accessible. If you plan to use sex toys, erotica, or porn, keep those on hand as well. Setting the mood in a way that makes you and your partner feel relaxed will help banish any nervousness.
2. 2. Try different positions. Like other sex acts, mutual masturbation is highly adaptable. You can lie on your sides facing each other, or you can stand, sit, kneel—whatever makes you feel sexy. If other types of sexual stimulation are in the mix, stay close enough to your partner to stimulate their other erogenous zones, such as lips, breasts, ears, or nipples.
3. 3. Masturbate as foreplay or as a finisher. Showing your partner what you can do on your own can serve as foreplay, leading to arousal and other types of sex. Mutual masturbation can also be a low-pressure way to reach orgasm together—or relax after more physically demanding positions. You can also use mutual masturbation as a way of taking a break if you or your partner feels overstimulated.
4. 4. Take it slow. If you masturbate quickly when you’re on your own, try masturbating in slow-motion with your partner. Take time to enjoy the process, and experiment with new techniques in the comfortable, intimate atmosphere you create with your partner.

Craving a little more intimacy? Grab a MasterClass Annual Membership and learn more about open communication with your partners, experimenting in the bedroom, and being your own best sexual advocate with a little help from Emily Morse (host of the wildly popular podcast Sex With Emily).