Guide to Orgies: How to Participate in an Orgy - 2021

An orgy is a sex party in which multiple guests participate in consensual, unrestrained sexual activities. (The terms "orgy" and "swingers party" are sometimes used interchangeably, but a swingers party explicitly requires couples to attend.) There is no minimum number of people needed for an orgy, but the prevailing opinion is that an orgy should have at least five people since group sex between three or four people is traditionally called a [threesome](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-have-a-threesome) and foursome, respectively. At an orgy, any type of sexual activity is fair game as long as all parties consent. Orgy participants might engage in oral sex, intercourse, [anal play](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-safer-anal-sex), bondage, role-play, and more. In modern times, an orgy describes a sexual debauch, but its historical meaning points to a more spiritual event. The word "orgy" derives from the Greek word *orgion*, meaning "a licentious revelry.” The Greek *orgia* refers to an ecstatic form of worship, such as the secret rites of Dionysus and Bacchus—the ancient Greek and Roman deities of wine, fertility, and religious ecstasy. These revels promoted excessive drinking, merrymaking, and sex acts at bacchanal festivals. The bacchanal attendees believed that Bacchus embodied the wine and that drinking it would connect them to the divine. Part of this divine connection involved satisfying their sexual urges to prevent their impulses from surfacing in more nefarious ways at a later time. The Roman senate was suspicious of these secret rites and passed the *Senatus consultum de Bacchanalibus* (Senatorial Decree concerning the Bacchanalia) in 186 B.C. to suppress the overindulgence at the orgiastic festivals. Even sex party regulars get nervous before orgies. If you follow these tips, you'll be in a great position to have safe and pleasurable sexual encounters. 1. __Always get clear verbal consent__. The number one rule is to receive explicit verbal consent from all your partners before initiating each sex act. If drinking and drug use occur at the orgy, be especially careful to look out for people who may be too impaired to give consent. 2. __Do some background research__. It's helpful to know some basic facts about the orgy's organizer and rules. If you don’t know the organizer, find someone you trust to confirm that the organizer has hosted safe sex parties before. Reach out to the organizer directly to ask any pertinent questions and to confirm rules of consent and safety, condom usage, safe words, general party etiquette, and any specific themes or fetishes that the orgy may be encouraging. 3. __Set your boundaries in advance__. Before you arrive, consider what you are and are not willing to do. For example, you might want to decide if you're comfortable with [BDSM](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/bdsm-explained) or engaging in sexual acts with people of different gender identities. Think about any sex acts that seem particularly exciting to you so that you can prioritize turning those fantasies into a reality at the party. 4. __Communication is key__. Communicate your boundaries and desires to your sex partners before and during sex. The more open you are, the more enjoyable the experience will be. 5. __Be patient__. Take some time to relax and socialize. Conversational chemistry often translates to sexual chemistry, so there's a good chance you'll end up enjoying the sex more if you get to know your partners a little bit first. 6. __Avoid getting too intoxicated__. Orgies often feature drinking and drug use, but make sure you're not too impaired to make sensible decisions. A good trick is to alternate alcoholic drinks with a glass of water, which will also keep you well hydrated and ready to handle any marathon sex sessions. 7. __Keep an open mind about sex partners__. Go into the event with a more open mind than you have in your traditional dating life. This sex-positive environment is an excellent opportunity to consider sexual partners who you might not traditionally find attractive, such as people with different body types, different genders, or even different personalities. You might discover a new turn-on that carries over into your regular sex life. 8. __Know that rejection is standard__. Don't take rejection personally, and make sure you're polite when rejecting someone else's advances. Know that you'll have plenty of other chances to engage in sex acts with other partners. Craving a little more intimacy? Grab a [MasterClass Annual Membership](https://www.masterclass.com) and learn more about <a href='https://masterclass.com/articles/robin-robertss-tips-for-effective-communication' target='_blank' class='mc-text--link' data-mc-segment-trigger='true' data-mc-segment-event-type='Article Page Click' data-event-obj='{"textTag":"p","href":"https://masterclass.com/articles/robin-robertss-tips-for-effective-communication","linkCopy":"communicating","category":"automated-link"}' automatic='true'>communicating openly with your partners, experimenting in the bedroom, and being your own best sexual advocate with a little help from Emily Morse (host of the wildly popular podcast *Sex With Emily*). Group sex might seem like a taboo idea or a far-fetched fantasy, but it can offer a new world of sexual discovery and satisfaction. Learn what to expect at an orgy, proper etiquette, and how to make group sex a safe experience.