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What Is Couples Therapy? 4 Types of Couples Therapy

 One of the very important elements around effective listening is to understand the difference between debate and dialogue. If I debate you, I'm arguing. I am trying to make a point. I am more interested with you listening to me than I am interested in listening to you. It is confrontational, and it is meant to win. A dialogue is an exchange. A dialogue, there's no winner. A dialogue invites me listening and then responding on the basis of what I've heard rather than responding from the place of what I already came with before, regardless of what you're going to say anyway. Hence, in a dialogue, I have the feeling that the other person is interested in what I have to say and vise versa. The difference can't be more important. Now, that doesn't mean that we don't have times when we are really in a debate. But it's very rare that you win over somebody through a debate. That actually is not very effective. You are more likely to win somebody over, if at all, in a dialogue. In dialogue, we are looking for new options together, and we're looking for the commonalities in our arguments. These are two very different-- not just styles of communication and argumentation, but these invite two very different experiences of relationships.

Couples therapy, also known as couples counseling, is a type of [therapy](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/what-to-expect-from-therapy) undertaken by a romantic partnership. Couples therapy allows couples to resolve disagreements, improve [communication](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-communicate-in-a-relationship), and strengthen their relationship. Therapy can be an excellent way to help partners on the verge of ending their relationship. Generally, couples therapy is a short-term skills-building exercise that can lead to positive change in a relationship in the long term. 

Couples therapy is similar to marriage counseling, but the latter focuses more on current relationship issues instead of identifying past behavior patterns. According to the American Association of Marriage and Family, more than ninety-seven percent of surveyed couples benefitted from couples therapy.
Couples in couples therapy typically see a licensed counselor for weekly counseling sessions. A therapist can mediate between the couple as they voice their issues and concerns and provide feedback based on witnessing the couple’s interactions. A therapist can also offer techniques and advice for how the couple can resolve relationship distress and improve their relationship dynamics. In some cases, couples might also engage in family therapy or individual therapy in addition to couples therapy.
Couples therapy can be an excellent way for domestic partners or anyone in a romantic relationship to strengthen their bond. Consider the different types of couples therapy:

1. __Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)__: This treatment identifies negative patterns of behavior and [negative thought](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/cognitive-distortions) patterns and works to change them. In doing so, it helps people develop [problem-solving](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/creative-problem-solving) skills. 
2. __Emotionally focused therapy (EFT)__: This psychotherapy approach develops the attachment bond between the couple, decreasing feelings of detachment and anger so the couple can move in a more positive and healthy direction. 
3. __Gottman Method__: Named after psychologist John Gottman, the Gottman Method focuses on fostering positive interactions between the couple so that they can develop feelings of closeness and affection. This approach can help motivate couples to overcome conflict.
4. __Premarital counseling__: [Premarital counseling](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/premarital-counseling) programs assist couples in discussing important issues to pave the way for a healthy marriage. Sometimes couples do not live together before their wedding day, have not fully explored their [sex life](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/sexual-marriage), or have never had another kind of long-term commitment. In these cases, premarital therapy provides couples with a safe space to discuss their concerns and issues.
Relationship counseling can help couples empathize with each other and understand the root cause of their conflict. Consider the following techniques and tips from relationship expert [Esther Perel](https://www.masterclass.com/classes/esther-perel-teaches-relational-intelligence) to foster better communication skills and conflict resolution:

1. __Build empathy__: Therapists can encourage couples to step into each other’s shoes to help them see issues from their partner’s point of view. This can help the individuals foster compassion and empathy and approach dialogue healthily. “When we get stuck into too much thinking about ourselves, it sometimes can stand in the way of our ability to think and understand others,” Esther says. “Empathy is exactly that; it’s that ability to put ourselves in another person’s shoes.”
2. __Identify issues__: A licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) can help the couple identify the patterns within their disagreements. Therapists can also identify the core issues for why the couple is usually in [conflict](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-develop-successful-conflict-resolution-skills), whether that’s an emotional issue, a communication issue, or a physical issue, such as substance abuse. According to Esther, it is essential to handle conflict early. “Conflict is basically an ascending curve from something that is a discord, a disagreement, a challenge—and it goes all the way to an explosion,” she says.
3. __Improve self-awareness__: The therapist can help a couple get to know themselves and their partners better by exploring their pasts. [Self-awareness](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/what-is-self-awareness) is essential for both partners in a relationship. “Why is self-awareness key to relational life? It’s so obvious that it’s almost difficult to define it sometimes. Self-awareness involves . . . the idea that you can look at yourself and how you are acting and reacting in relationships, how you are communicating in a relationship, how you are showing up,” Esther says. “That piece of self-knowledge is also what gives you a sense of looking at others and being able to understand them.”
4. __Name emotions__: Therapy can help couples identify the feelings at the heart of the couple’s conflict, such as one partner feeling like the other takes them for granted or another partner feeling disconnected from the relationship. You must listen to recognize your partner's emotions. “If a person is pissed, sad, angry, hurt, they probably have a reason to feel so,” Esther says. “We don’t need to do anything about this. The feelings exist, they will go through, and they will come out on the other side.
After choosing a therapist, couples meet for weekly sessions with a therapist virtually or in person. At the first session, a couples therapist will begin by interviewing the individual partners and asking them about themselves, their cultural background, [personal values](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/personal-values-explained), and the history of the relationship. The therapist will use the initial session to work with the couple to identify relationship problems and to set a treatment plan, including the number of therapy sessions for the couple. They will also [set goals](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/goals-in-a-relationship) with the couple on what they want the couples therapy sessions to achieve.

Over several weekly sessions recommended by the therapist, the counselor will work with the couple to address their issues. The therapist can provide feedback on the couple’s relationship, techniques for conflict resolution, and ways to increase the bond between the couple. They can also provide homework for the couple to help couples work on their interactions at home. If partners have more significant issues, such as substance abuse, the therapist can suggest specialized treatment.
Couples therapy can help many couples strengthen their relationship. Consider the following benefits and takeaways from couples therapy:

1. __Builds skills__: At the end of the set amount of sessions with the counselor, the couple will emerge with new skills for how to better communicate with each other, how to have a better relationship mindset, and how to resolve disagreements.
2. __Gives answers__: Couples therapy can explain why partners are in conflict with one another and why each person is acting in ways that might displease their partner. 
3. __Increases satisfaction__: Couples who participate in couples therapy report higher [happiness](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/types-of-happiness) and relationship satisfaction levels. Couples therapy can improve the [mental health](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/what-is-mental-health) of individual partners.
4. __Saves time__: Couples tend to argue repeatedly about the same topics in different contexts. Couples therapy equips couples with tools to communicate and resolve conflicts quickly and peacefully before they spin into more significant issues.
5. __Strengthens relationships__: Couples tend to come out of couple’s therapy with a strengthened bond, greater empathy and understanding for their partners, improved interactions, and a better outlook on their relationship.
Developing relational intelligence and improving <a href='https://masterclass.com/articles/robin-robertss-tips-for-effective-communication' target='_blank' class='mc-text--link' data-mc-segment-trigger='true' data-mc-segment-event-type='Article Page Click' data-event-obj='{"textTag":"p","href":"https://masterclass.com/articles/robin-robertss-tips-for-effective-communication","linkCopy":"communication","category":"automated-link"}' automatic='true'>communication</a> are essential to boost the quality of your personal and professional relationships. Discover Esther Perel’s approach to [resolving conflict](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-resolve-conflict), [having difficult conversations](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-have-difficult-conversations), and building trust when you sign up for a [MasterClass Annual Membership](https://www.masterclass.com/).
Couples therapy can help couples address disagreements about the household, sexual incompatibility, or infidelity. Learn how relationship therapy can foster healthy relationships, plus tips from relationship expert Esther Perel.

Couples therapy can help couples address disagreements about the household, sexual incompatibility, or infidelity. Learn how relationship therapy can foster healthy relationships, plus tips from relationship expert Esther Perel.

Couples therapy, also known as couples counseling, is a type of <a href='https://www.masterclass.com/articles/what-to-expect-from-therapy' target='_blank' class='mc-text--link' data-mc-segment-trigger='true' data-mc-segment-event-type='Article Page Click' data-event-obj='{"textTag":"p","href":"https://www.masterclass.com/articles/what-to-expect-from-therapy","linkCopy":"therapy","category":null}'>therapy</a> undertaken by a romantic partnership. Couples therapy allows couples to resolve disagreements, improve <a href='https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-communicate-in-a-relationship' target='_blank' class='mc-text--link' data-mc-segment-trigger='true' data-mc-segment-event-type='Article Page Click' data-event-obj='{"textTag":"p","href":"https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-communicate-in-a-relationship","linkCopy":"communication","category":null}'>communication</a>, and strengthen their relationship. Therapy can be an excellent way to help partners on the verge of ending their relationship. Generally, couples therapy is a short-term skills-building exercise that can lead to positive change in a relationship in the long term. Couples therapy is similar to marriage counseling, but the latter focuses more on current relationship issues instead of identifying past behavior patterns. According to the American Association of Marriage and Family, more than ninety-seven percent of surveyed couples benefitted from couples therapy.

What Is Couples Therapy?

Couples in couples therapy typically see a licensed counselor for weekly counseling sessions. A therapist can mediate between the couple as they voice their issues and concerns and provide feedback based on witnessing the couple’s interactions. A therapist can also offer techniques and advice for how the couple can resolve relationship distress and improve their relationship dynamics. In some cases, couples might also engage in family therapy or individual therapy in addition to couples therapy.

How Does Couples Therapy Work?

Couples therapy can be an excellent way for domestic partners or anyone in a romantic relationship to strengthen their bond. Consider the different types of couples therapy:<ol class="mc-m-4"><li class="mc-my-4"> 1. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): This treatment identifies negative patterns of behavior and <a href='https://www.masterclass.com/articles/cognitive-distortions' target='_blank' class='mc-text--link' data-mc-segment-trigger='true' data-mc-segment-event-type='Article Page Click' data-event-obj='{"textTag":"p","href":"https://www.masterclass.com/articles/cognitive-distortions","linkCopy":"negative thought","category":null}'>negative thought</a> patterns and works to change them. In doing so, it helps people develop <a href='https://www.masterclass.com/articles/creative-problem-solving' target='_blank' class='mc-text--link' data-mc-segment-trigger='true' data-mc-segment-event-type='Article Page Click' data-event-obj='{"textTag":"p","href":"https://www.masterclass.com/articles/creative-problem-solving","linkCopy":"problem-solving","category":null}'>problem-solving</a> skills. </li><li class="mc-my-4"> 2. Emotionally focused therapy (EFT): This psychotherapy approach develops the attachment bond between the couple, decreasing feelings of detachment and anger so the couple can move in a more positive and healthy direction. </li><li class="mc-my-4"> 3. Gottman Method: Named after psychologist John Gottman, the Gottman Method focuses on fostering positive interactions between the couple so that they can develop feelings of closeness and affection. This approach can help motivate couples to overcome conflict. </li><li class="mc-my-4"> 4. Premarital counseling: <a href='https://www.masterclass.com/articles/premarital-counseling' target='_blank' class='mc-text--link' data-mc-segment-trigger='true' data-mc-segment-event-type='Article Page Click' data-event-obj='{"textTag":"p","href":"https://www.masterclass.com/articles/premarital-counseling","linkCopy":"Premarital counseling","category":null}'>Premarital counseling</a> programs assist couples in discussing important issues to pave the way for a healthy marriage. Sometimes couples do not live together before their wedding day, have not fully explored their <a href='https://www.masterclass.com/articles/sexual-marriage' target='_blank' class='mc-text--link' data-mc-segment-trigger='true' data-mc-segment-event-type='Article Page Click' data-event-obj='{"textTag":"p","href":"https://www.masterclass.com/articles/sexual-marriage","linkCopy":"sex life","category":null}'>sex life</a>, or have never had another kind of long-term commitment. In these cases, premarital therapy provides couples with a safe space to discuss their concerns and issues. </li></ol>

4 Types of Couples Therapy

Relationship counseling can help couples empathize with each other and understand the root cause of their conflict. Consider the following techniques and tips from relationship expert <a href='https://www.masterclass.com/classes/esther-perel-teaches-relational-intelligence' target='_blank' class='mc-text--link' data-mc-segment-trigger='true' data-mc-segment-event-type='Article Page Click' data-event-obj='{"textTag":"p","href":"https://www.masterclass.com/classes/esther-perel-teaches-relational-intelligence","linkCopy":"Esther Perel","category":null}'>Esther Perel</a> to foster better communication skills and conflict resolution:<ol class="mc-m-4"><li class="mc-my-4"> 1. Build empathy: Therapists can encourage couples to step into each other’s shoes to help them see issues from their partner’s point of view. This can help the individuals foster compassion and empathy and approach dialogue healthily. “When we get stuck into too much thinking about ourselves, it sometimes can stand in the way of our ability to think and understand others,” Esther says. “Empathy is exactly that; it’s that ability to put ourselves in another person’s shoes.” </li><li class="mc-my-4"> 2. Identify issues: A licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) can help the couple identify the patterns within their disagreements. Therapists can also identify the core issues for why the couple is usually in <a href='https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-develop-successful-conflict-resolution-skills' target='_blank' class='mc-text--link' data-mc-segment-trigger='true' data-mc-segment-event-type='Article Page Click' data-event-obj='{"textTag":"p","href":"https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-develop-successful-conflict-resolution-skills","linkCopy":"conflict","category":null}'>conflict</a>, whether that’s an emotional issue, a communication issue, or a physical issue, such as substance abuse. According to Esther, it is essential to handle conflict early. “Conflict is basically an ascending curve from something that is a discord, a disagreement, a challenge—and it goes all the way to an explosion,” she says. </li><li class="mc-my-4"> 3. Improve self-awareness: The therapist can help a couple get to know themselves and their partners better by exploring their pasts. <a href='https://www.masterclass.com/articles/what-is-self-awareness' target='_blank' class='mc-text--link' data-mc-segment-trigger='true' data-mc-segment-event-type='Article Page Click' data-event-obj='{"textTag":"p","href":"https://www.masterclass.com/articles/what-is-self-awareness","linkCopy":"Self-awareness","category":null}'>Self-awareness</a> is essential for both partners in a relationship. “Why is self-awareness key to relational life? It’s so obvious that it’s almost difficult to define it sometimes. Self-awareness involves . . . the idea that you can look at yourself and how you are acting and reacting in relationships, how you are communicating in a relationship, how you are showing up,” Esther says. “That piece of self-knowledge is also what gives you a sense of looking at others and being able to understand them.” </li><li class="mc-my-4"> 4. Name emotions: Therapy can help couples identify the feelings at the heart of the couple’s conflict, such as one partner feeling like the other takes them for granted or another partner feeling disconnected from the relationship. You must listen to recognize your partner&#39;s emotions. “If a person is pissed, sad, angry, hurt, they probably have a reason to feel so,” Esther says. “We don’t need to do anything about this. The feelings exist, they will go through, and they will come out on the other side. </li></ol>

4 Couples Therapy Techniques

After choosing a therapist, couples meet for weekly sessions with a therapist virtually or in person. At the first session, a couples therapist will begin by interviewing the individual partners and asking them about themselves, their cultural background, <a href='https://www.masterclass.com/articles/personal-values-explained' target='_blank' class='mc-text--link' data-mc-segment-trigger='true' data-mc-segment-event-type='Article Page Click' data-event-obj='{"textTag":"p","href":"https://www.masterclass.com/articles/personal-values-explained","linkCopy":"personal values","category":null}'>personal values</a>, and the history of the relationship. The therapist will use the initial session to work with the couple to identify relationship problems and to set a treatment plan, including the number of therapy sessions for the couple. They will also <a href='https://www.masterclass.com/articles/goals-in-a-relationship' target='_blank' class='mc-text--link' data-mc-segment-trigger='true' data-mc-segment-event-type='Article Page Click' data-event-obj='{"textTag":"p","href":"https://www.masterclass.com/articles/goals-in-a-relationship","linkCopy":"set goals","category":null}'>set goals</a> with the couple on what they want the couples therapy sessions to achieve.Over several weekly sessions recommended by the therapist, the counselor will work with the couple to address their issues. The therapist can provide feedback on the couple’s relationship, techniques for conflict resolution, and ways to increase the bond between the couple. They can also provide homework for the couple to help couples work on their interactions at home. If partners have more significant issues, such as substance abuse, the therapist can suggest specialized treatment.

What to Expect From Couples Therapy 

Couples therapy can help many couples strengthen their relationship. Consider the following benefits and takeaways from couples therapy:<ol class="mc-m-4"><li class="mc-my-4"> 1. Builds skills: At the end of the set amount of sessions with the counselor, the couple will emerge with new skills for how to better communicate with each other, how to have a better relationship mindset, and how to resolve disagreements. </li><li class="mc-my-4"> 2. Gives answers: Couples therapy can explain why partners are in conflict with one another and why each person is acting in ways that might displease their partner. </li><li class="mc-my-4"> 3. Increases satisfaction: Couples who participate in couples therapy report higher <a href='https://www.masterclass.com/articles/types-of-happiness' target='_blank' class='mc-text--link' data-mc-segment-trigger='true' data-mc-segment-event-type='Article Page Click' data-event-obj='{"textTag":"p","href":"https://www.masterclass.com/articles/types-of-happiness","linkCopy":"happiness","category":null}'>happiness</a> and relationship satisfaction levels. Couples therapy can improve the <a href='https://www.masterclass.com/articles/what-is-mental-health' target='_blank' class='mc-text--link' data-mc-segment-trigger='true' data-mc-segment-event-type='Article Page Click' data-event-obj='{"textTag":"p","href":"https://www.masterclass.com/articles/what-is-mental-health","linkCopy":"mental health","category":null}'>mental health</a> of individual partners. </li><li class="mc-my-4"> 4. Saves time: Couples tend to argue repeatedly about the same topics in different contexts. Couples therapy equips couples with tools to communicate and resolve conflicts quickly and peacefully before they spin into more significant issues. </li><li class="mc-my-4"> 5. Strengthens relationships: Couples tend to come out of couple’s therapy with a strengthened bond, greater empathy and understanding for their partners, improved interactions, and a better outlook on their relationship. </li></ol>

5 Benefits of Couples Therapy

Developing relational intelligence and improving <a href='https://masterclass.com/articles/robin-robertss-tips-for-effective-communication' target='_blank' class='mc-text--link' data-mc-segment-trigger='true' data-mc-segment-event-type='Article Page Click' data-event-obj='{"textTag":"p","href":"https://masterclass.com/articles/robin-robertss-tips-for-effective-communication","linkCopy":"communication","category":"automated-link"}' automatic='true'>communication</a> are essential to boost the quality of your personal and professional relationships. Discover Esther Perel’s approach to <a href='https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-resolve-conflict' target='_blank' class='mc-text--link' data-mc-segment-trigger='true' data-mc-segment-event-type='Article Page Click' data-event-obj='{"textTag":"p","href":"https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-resolve-conflict","linkCopy":"resolving conflict","category":null}'>resolving conflict</a>, <a href='https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-have-difficult-conversations' target='_blank' class='mc-text--link' data-mc-segment-trigger='true' data-mc-segment-event-type='Article Page Click' data-event-obj='{"textTag":"p","href":"https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-have-difficult-conversations","linkCopy":"having difficult conversations","category":null}'>having difficult conversations</a>, and building trust when you sign up for a <a href='https://www.masterclass.com/' target='_blank' class='mc-text--link' data-mc-segment-trigger='true' data-mc-segment-event-type='Article Page Click' data-event-obj='{"textTag":"p","href":"https://www.masterclass.com/","linkCopy":"MasterClass Annual Membership","category":null}'>MasterClass Annual Membership</a>.

Revitalize Your Relationships

Couples therapy can help couples address disagreements about the household, sexual incompatibility, or infidelity. Learn how relationship therapy can foster healthy relationships, plus tips from relationship expert Esther Perel.

Couples therapy can help couples address disagreements about the household, sexual incompatibility, or infidelity. Learn how relationship therapy can foster healthy relationships, plus tips from relationship expert Esther Perel.
